There are an endless number of words that are jumbled inside of me. They gravitate and tangle in the pit of my stomach, making me ill. They're eating me from the inside-out, and it literally feels as if my silence is killing me. I wonder if it's possible to believe in destiny if you intend to deny it. It's like I'm a time traveler trying to sabotage my own future, and I'm succeeding. I'm disappearing and fading away, and all that remains is what I'll be without you: a fractured and hollow shell. Cheating fate is torturous, and my damnation seems unending.
She bit her lip as she told me about the last four days. My blood was pumping so fast that I could hear my ears ringing. The nervous laughter was obvious and forced. Fake smiles were all I had to give as I heard about the man who held your attention for longer than I ever have.... or ever will. A swirl of questions washed across my mind, distracting all of my intentions. Did you fuck him? Did you love him? Is he funnier, more handsome, or in better shape than me? My eyes wandered as my mind drifted into dark fantasies of self-loathing. Then, you pulled me back. Though be it a not much kinder reality. You told me how he "used" you, and how he stopped returning your calls. My worst fears were confirmed, and my heart swelled to my throat before resting in my gut. Everything about you looked different. The angelic glow that was permeating from your face was now absent. The unmistakable magnetism of innocence was vanquished with one felt swoop. I could see right through you, like looking to the bottom of a shallow pond and seeing the scum on the floor. Your eyes became doors into an abandoned temple, no longer fit for worship.
You are a tomb, and all my roses are dead.
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